The Rennie Derby

Magpies 3 Imps 1 The Rennie Derby A view from the Kop

Oi Rennie! Thanks for sticking two fingers up to every Imp fan who has worked all week to pay for their day out on Saturday. Confronted with the entertainers you just had to make it your day didn`t you? When I make it rich I`m going to buy you an apt personal number plate PEN 1S.

A superb welcome from the travelling hordes was broken only by astonishment at Lincoln`s third choice colours. Lincoln green sounds like the smackings of a plan until you realise it is camouflage. And just like the Mancs a few years ago balls went astray and everyone went missing. It confused Amoo was he earth wind or fire? Sadly water, his flame throwers extinguished with umpteen offsides. Hughes wandered lonely as a cloud, over the Sahara of a pitch. Kerr and Frecktanian tried to pull the three Musketeers together, but to no avail.

Other than the last 10 we weren`t at the races and deserved little. Or did we? The ease with which we cut through the county lines with the introduction of Dani and SWD meant it should and could have been different. A superb Bee – vers throw was touched on by Kerr for SWD to race in and on the turn put wide of Pilkington. We then got a penalty Kerr`s spot kick saved in front of the baying Imp army. These two kids frighten the life out of defences for sure and given a run and a rampant Ryan`s right foot we are gonna need a calculator some day soon.

Can`t argue with the first goal a deflection that looped over Mazza. But just before half time an incident that would have Jesus jumping off the cross. Jamie the least aggressive of forwards got a straight red for apparently leaving his foot in. Wonder if it had anything to do with an exchange 5 minutes earlier for the umpteenth incorrect offside flag. Lino Dave Bryans is obviously from the wrong end of Lincolnshire too for he then missed Brown being elbowed in the face for their second. Obviously head injuries to Brown don`t count , play on eh Lino? It happened 3 foot from a Lino that is clearly Blind and Dumb. No the man is clearly a complete mute, add deafness as he failed to hear brown writhing in agony. Yep the guy has the full qualifications for a league official!

Now it really is sour grapes time (Knowing it is half the battle eh Imps?). There is good reason why football divided into association and Rugby codes over 100 years ago. They are not compatible. This Magpies, is why your pitch is so bad. The grass stands out like a shiny sixpence up a chimney sweeps bum. Judging by their support, team and stadium they are small time Charlies with ideas above their station. Oh and well done officials I bet your grateful hosts didn`t ask for any change!

Official version http://www.redimps.premiumtv.co.uk/page/FirstTeamReport/0,,10440~34330,00.html