Uncle Arry’s match report.

Ah wur just leggin down the other nyut, an ah tho’urt me ars wur afire.
That bluddy silly owd biddy onmine had forgotton tuh put thuh top on thuh ot watter bockle proper.

Well! ah tode er off rate gud, until shih stated kebbin abart it.
But ahm an ow’ed softy really yuh naw.
Anyow, ah put me arm aroun er an tode er ah wuz sorry, an shih soon qui’uttend down. Anyow, one thing lead tuh another an, in the end ah ad tuh give er uh kiss gunnight.

Ah wur just droppin off an shih sez, ‘ why dunt yuh gaw tuh thuh match any moo’er arry’.
‘Ah dunno’ ah sez, ‘mebbe ahl start agin sumtime, ah ent bin fer longinuff’.
Ad bin thinkin abart it fer awhile as it appens, may’enly cos ov ow thuh new manedger ud gorrum playin agin.

Saw anyway, next day ah wer in Lincun doin sum shoppin fer the owed bloke next doh’er, ees gorra bad ip, an ah bumps inta ow’ed Billy, me mayut, an wi got tawkin.
Anyow, Billy sez ees off tuh the match on satdee an me mind ad bin made up.

Ad erd on thuh news abart the manedger bein poo’erly an thut it’d be gud tuh be theer an join in thuh applause fohrim.
When thuh te’am kem out it wuh smashin, thuh ole growund irrupted, an if it adent bin foh that stupid disc jockey an is moosic, it wud ah bin perfect.

Anyow, thuh match kicked off, an owr lads didn’t, ah thowurt ad mared ah big mistek in cummin.
But second arf, by God! warra diffrence, wih gorinto em from thuh off, an thuh other lads want innit at all.
Real exitin it wah an three ruddy gud go’als.
Thinkin back, it wuh like thuh Lincun lads ad ad theer arses bont at arf time anall.

Bye fer now.
Uncle Arry.