Conference Season Ticket Bonanza

Friends, Family and Lincolnians, we at CVA specialists Wekan Shaftem Slyly are pleased to announce the SOS season ticket campaign or Groovy Gravy Train 2007-8 for short. Our manager is so confident he reckons we’ll get better results this year than his 12-0 victory at Southwark against CPS.


After careful consideration of local needs and in association with co sponsors cash cow converters or the three C`s we are pleased to announce a phenomenal saving for those taking advantage of our Early bird scheme. Those turning up round the back at dawn holdin` foldin` will get a ticket for 75 sovs. For those prepared for the silly long wait whenever unnecessary paperwork is involved it will be 200 pounds. Cheques should be made payable to Conference Auditors and Sibling Harmony or C A S H so it will fit on the kite err I mean cheque.
Getting out early is of course extra.

For multiple bookings we have decided to extend the Family scheme, (note proof of 6 or more fingers/ toes is required)


The nuclear family
6-49 – at 6 quid a digit (that`s eleven or twelve for most) cash price or 150 each punter (not fingers) on the books.

Family – Five – O. 2 grand in the hand or 7,500 on the ticket. As a gesture of good faith no proof of breeding will be required.

Happy 100 chromosomes.
You`ll be more round-eyed than ever with 100 tickets for 3500 (no fifties thanks) or a 10 grand bankers draft to C A S H (see above).

Twelve Dozen Cousins
All 144 for four grand in dirty tenners. 12 grand bankers draft to C A S H (see above).

Uncle Tom Cobbly and All
Get Grans, Granddads Aunts & Uncles aplenty down. Blocks of 500 can ensure Saturday sit togethers can be a regular thing. For 5-6 grand cash we`ll do the deal on the spot or if you must involve the Tax office lets call it 25 K. As an additional special fans can also sponsor a players coat hook, boots shirt, shorts, jock strap and socks. Tell you what give us a tenner postage and we`ll send you the real thing, err I mean replica

Sorry no notes accepted if the queen blinks. Much as we love the players no pics of them on the money either. Their banks wont accept it even after this long. Kites/cheques/drafts, the words are thousand pounds only with three zeros after the number. We understand grand and K`s, Mo the Moroccan in particular but the pin stripes don`t! No credit cards either; even the Internet and Ebay wouldn`t take us on.

So come early to beat the taxman. Sale must end soon.

Refund policy – Wouldn`t bother if the cheques cleared as we operate a Taiwanese warranty approach (Congratulations you bought it you own it). For the persistent you can call us or Visit. Yes that`s wright turn up in person to the board room. Be aware there`s already a queue. Option three is where you get to haggle with the best. That`s right you can chinwag with a Celeb. Call Mr S Evans on 0898 TUF SH.. now where is the rest of that number.